When brides and grooms planning same-sex weddings ask me what’s different about planning a gay wedding versus a straight one, my honest answer is that there’s not much difference – except for the etiquette of how you handle the parents.
Mothers of the bride and groom are afforded certain honorable positions according to traditional wedding etiquette, but whose mom gets the top billing at a same-sex wedding? You might think it’s a stupid question, but it’s come up before at a wedding rehearsal I was running, and it made things more than awkward. So the next time I had a gay wedding rehearsal, I put on my “Queen of Gay Wediquette” crown and made some rules.
The beauty of a same-sex wedding is that you get to make things up as you go along because there are lots of times that traditional etiquette doesn’t apply. With that said, you have to make those decisions in advance and know exactly what you want each person’s role to be before everybody arrives. If you leave things to the last minute, and you run late to any of your events, your parents won’t know where they’re supposed to sit or stand, and the confusion begins. And that’s when the quality of their experience at your wedding starts to decline. The goal is to prevent that initial negative thing from happening.
Tune in to my podcast about how to tackle this potential problem – click here to find out the best way to figure out who does what when, and in which order. Head off any wedding drama by making sure the VIPs know and understand the plan for the big day.
For more tips on planning your wedding, check out Sandy Malone Weddings & Events!
Sandy Malone is the owner of Sandy Malone Weddings & Events, a full-service traditional home and destination wedding planning company, and Do-It-Yourself wedding planning consulting service for DIY brides and grooms. Sandy is the star of TLC’s reality show “Wedding Island,” about her destination wedding planning company Weddings in Vieques. She is an internationally syndicated wedding blogger for The Huffington Post and BRIDES, as well as a reality-TV blogger for Monsters and Critics.
Sandy’s new book “How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional,” was published in March of 2016, and is available everywhere books are sold. Her podcast “Wedding Reality Check with Sandy Malone” is posted twice weekly on iHeartRadio.
Sandy and her team (including her husband Bill, a retired SWAT team commander) have planned and executed almost 500 weddings in the United States and the Caribbean. Sandy is a veteran event planner from Washington, DC, with years of experience planning large and small weddings, press conference, and corporate and political events. She has planned countless events on Vieques Island, beginning with her own wedding back in 2004. Since that time, her professional staff has executed large and small weddings of all styles, including elopements, vow renewals and fabulously posh events at multi-million dollar waterfront villas. She has also planned family reunions, destination baby showers, corporate retreats and a variety of other events for clients from all over the United States and Canada. She is considered the “Queen of Gay Wediquette” and has been rated “Five Rainbows” by her happy gay clients!